to the Instrument of My Existence...

I was you and you were me and I guess that's the reason why we could not stand each other's company. Now that you have finally taken your rest, who would've thought that I would miss you this much?

I used to wish for your nagging to peter out and I know that you used to wish for my rebellion to end. I know that I have gotten into your nerves, but you chose to ignore it as you were aware that mine was just an act of a grandstander. You were with pride and I was with hurt, thus we never had the chance to converse with each other. We were living on the same roof but we would only communicate through my brother and sisters. However, I am amazed by our relationship because despite that, we both knew what we want for each other.

Hence, I worked hard for my college and started looking for a job that would be enough to finance my night out gimmicks and expensive pastimes. I really didn't mind working at early in the morning while taking classes at night. I would never get the honors anyway so why waste an effort, right? Although I knew you would rather have me achieve that academic distinction, I was only aiming for the credential that would emancipate me from my nerve-racking but high-paying job.

When my siblings told me that you somehow felt ashamed for not supporting my collegiate pursuits, I thought it was already clear to you that I was only doing you a favor. Besides, it was my choice and I was pleased with what I was doing because of the benefits that I was getting. Aside from that, depending on you for my personal needs would mean a failure on your part because you have inculcated in me the value of being independent.

With you I have learned that the world would never stop from turning every time I fall. With you I have realized that we all have our own lives and it is our responsibility to live it the way how it should be. With you I have discovered the reality of myself and my capacity to materialize all the visions I have in mind. With you I have understand the true nature and intricacies of human society. With you I have become what I have become and I am so much grateful, despite the ambivalence, of your ephemeral existence.

I know you were proud of me as I was proud of you. As what they have seen and observed --- I was you and you were me and thank heavens we were given the gift of interacting in silence.

Lucid Dream!

I finally had a lucid dream! Unfortunately, I snapped out of it immediately right after I realized that I was dreaming a lucid dream. It felt so creepy and my whole body was shivering from chills. I can feel the goosebumps invading my totality. Just when I thought I could handle it, but I was wrong and I felt a tinge of regret for getting so scared. I should have let the dream carry on.

A lucid dream by the way is a type of dream where the dreamer is aware that he is only dreaming. Scientific researches have been conducted about it and the veracity of its phenomenon has been established.

My interest in lucid dreaming commenced when I started dreaming weird and symbolic dreams. Some of which came true, like my travel in Manila, and some other scenarios which I cannot simply disclose for some reasons.

The lucid dream that I had was weird just like any others. And it actually involved the person who I wish to see in my dream because I want to ask some clarifications. However, I was not able to get a hold of my goal because I panicked when I realized that I was dreaming a lucid dream.