There may be a time for everything but still nobody knows when that time will be... There may be a reason for everything yet nobody knows what that reason is...
When you have already decided to let go of the past and leave it all behind, it would then again hunt and pin you down. You wonder as you try to move on; should you really let go or should you hold on for a little more while? With this on the fritz, you wander with confusion once more -- should you stay or should you go, that is the question.
When the hardest part of living is acceptance and the hardest thing to do is giving up, you toddle with uncertainty, you pause and then you stop -- is it really worth it? do you really have to do it? for what reason?
Afterward you search for the answers, trying to satiate the hunger for the truth yet you just find yourself frustrated and dejected. The answer seemed to be very elusive. always beyond your reach. always out of the line.
So you fixed yourself into something else, forgetting the thing that you have to do. You neither let go nor accepted what was given to you instead you blinded yourself and pretended that nothing really happened. You then started taking the path you thought you have never taken. A new road, a new journey. However, upon reaching the crossroad you realized you are back to where you have come from. And the cycle goes on again until you got tired.
You have gone weary but you are still unable to make up your mind. For some reasons, the past can't seem to emancipate you from it. Daunting you, holding you back, smothering you. But the fact is: It is you who cannot withhold from the past, it is you who cannot give it up it is you who refused to let go.
Sometimes when the hardest part of living is acceptance and the hardest thing to do is letting go you stop and you cry. The answer you have been seeking was just inside your heart all the while yet you failed to recognize it. Indeed there is a time for everything and there is a reason for everything. But time and reason are only instruments for you to realize that that's what life is really for.
Here Comes Jeep ni Erap
May 17, 2009
When Erap relaunched his jeepney, I knew he would be running for 2010.
President Gloria shouldn't have granted Estrada his civil and political rights hence his audacity to run for reelection.
The nerve, after all he's done and what he'd gone through, he still has the guts to run for president! I wonder what was he thinking or does he ever think at all? If he is only following his advisers then it is time for him to fire them all. They have done nothing good to him, in fact his reputation was ruined because of what they are feeding him.
He must realize that life is not a movie. He's not an actor playing for a role of a man who lives in a dream that he is born to be the savior of his country. He should stop thinking that he is the next Ninoy or Rizal because he will never be one. I do not understand why he still wants to go back to politics after the fiasco he and his men created. If his reason is just because he wants to serve the Filipino people, does he really had to run for office? Can't he extend his hands to his fellowmen without a seat in the government? If he would reason out that he can do a lot of things for his people if he is the president of the country, what had he done for the Philippines during his term in the first place?
If ever he had done something good for the country, I really cannot say for the things that I can only remember during his presidency was the peso rate on its lowest, the economy at its rock bottom, the Philippines in the dark. And I don't need to present evidence here as the history has already spoken it.
President Gloria shouldn't have granted Estrada his civil and political rights hence his audacity to run for reelection.
The nerve, after all he's done and what he'd gone through, he still has the guts to run for president! I wonder what was he thinking or does he ever think at all? If he is only following his advisers then it is time for him to fire them all. They have done nothing good to him, in fact his reputation was ruined because of what they are feeding him.
He must realize that life is not a movie. He's not an actor playing for a role of a man who lives in a dream that he is born to be the savior of his country. He should stop thinking that he is the next Ninoy or Rizal because he will never be one. I do not understand why he still wants to go back to politics after the fiasco he and his men created. If his reason is just because he wants to serve the Filipino people, does he really had to run for office? Can't he extend his hands to his fellowmen without a seat in the government? If he would reason out that he can do a lot of things for his people if he is the president of the country, what had he done for the Philippines during his term in the first place?
If ever he had done something good for the country, I really cannot say for the things that I can only remember during his presidency was the peso rate on its lowest, the economy at its rock bottom, the Philippines in the dark. And I don't need to present evidence here as the history has already spoken it.
dejected
May 8, 2009
1o:15 pm -- Awoke from a light slumber. I fell asleep while waiting for "That Thing You Do" movie to download. Unfortunately, the long wait was in vain as the movie did not download at all. Starving and quite disappointed, i got out of bed to have some dinner only to find out that we don't have food again. It has always been like this. How ironic, my mom is a school teacher and i am a call center agent but we just could not put a food on our table. I don't know if the problem is with my mother or with me or with how we manage our family life.
Totally pissed off by that moment, i decided to go out to get dinner. I did not tell my sister where the hell i am going as she really doesn't have to know and i don't want her to know.
Unsure of where to go... my head is battling if i just go to breakfast club which is not expensive or try the cafe at bajada which i've been attempting to visit but always unable to do so for some reasons. When i got inside the jeepney, i settle on Buzz Cafe... I told myself that i will waste the 500 bucks in my pocket. I guess that's how upset I was.
And so here i am... Sitting alone in a comfortable zone with the coffee and clubhouse sandwich which cost me quite a lot... Sigh... I guess i am just lonely... I am trying to grasp why I have come to this point... I am not really sure if this is the kind of life i want... I just can't wait for the time where i can leave this city and live on my own knowing no one but myself...
I will be posting this entry in my superficialistics blog... I have promised that i will not post any senseless items there but then i realized, why do i have to push myself into something which i know i am not really good at? I am so tired of pleasing other people... So tired of making good impressions... I just want to be myself... Myself... who until now i still do not know... I've been searching for myself for a very long time... Myriad of things have been revealed but it seems i haven't obtain them...
Anyway... from now on... the superficialistics blog will just demonstrate my superficialities and absurdity...